Saturday, September 5, 2009

Manageable Inner-Leg Blazes and the Fearsome Gym Beasts

Okay, so I don't like exercise.

I'm sorry, but there it is.

I wish I liked it, buuut... I don't.

I mean, I don't pine for a good workout. There are people out there, who do. They think, Yes! Sweat! Adrenaline! Gatorade!
Okay, so maybe they don't think that- I wouldn't know- as I am not One of Them. (One of THEM. I like referring to them as a whole other specie- "Those that Enjoy Exercise"- interesting creatures with active habits. You can find them swarming fluorescent lit, poorly ventilated gyms during odd hours, and huddling around water holes. Social predators with gleaming muscle and veins, usually clad in thigh-hugging spandex. Prey includes fatties, rollies, chubbies and other social ladder bottom dwellers.)

But seriously guys, the whole thing is just kind of a turn off.
At least while I do it.
Because I'll tell you what. Me, on the Eliptical machine for thirty minutes is neither graceful nor sightly.
I sweat so much that I think I can actually hear the beads hitting the floor. I can almost start a fire in between my legs with all the friction, and the horribly un-flattering sight of gravity and the affect it has on all of my weight going up, and then comin' back down... well, it's just not pretty.

But I do it!
Everyday, I get up at eight, bike to class, learn. Bike to gym, sweat. Bike home. Wheeze.

That's my routine.
And lucky for me (I know, I know and for the health of my body, blah blah blah) I'm sticking to it.

tip of today: listen to the people who talk about drinking water. As a natural skeptic, I question all authority and advice pertaining to my body, but seriously- after drinking 72 oz. of water everyday for about a week, my complexion is clear, and it has helped to melt the weight. As a disclaimer though, until your body adjusts, stay near toilets. Or high bushes. Your choice.

"You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers."

-Albert Einstein (not kidding, he did actually say this).